


Something More

by mylittlecthulhu (marineko)



Series: Sakumiya Valentines [1]
Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-06
Updated: 2011-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 08:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marineko/pseuds/mylittlecthulhu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino gives Sho chocolates for Valentines, but Sho reacts badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something More

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all4cyanide](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all4cyanide).



> Kind of inspired by Letters to Cleo's "Because of You."

“Fuck,” Nino said, crumpled against the back alley of the bar, nursing his head, which hurts more from the splitting headache he’d been having all day than from where it had hit against the wall. His hands felt a little sticky in his hair, though. He pulled it away, and stared at the traces of blood, before wiping on his shirt. “Fuck.”

He should have known better than to try to kiss Sho. It was just that he thought Sho was drunk enough. It was just that he thought that they were close enough friends. It was just that Sho would be able to laugh about it, even if he pushed Nino away. He didn’t think that Sho would push so roughly, that Sho would be so angry about it.

He didn’t regret it, though. He lost a lot of things that day – his best friend, his first kiss (at least, his first kiss that actually mattered), his hopes. But, he thought, as he bent over to pick up the crumpled, ruined chocolates, he lost something else as well. He had lost the image he had of Sho as Mr. Perfect, as the cool and unflappable I-can-do-everything person that Sho was at work.

He wished that he could lose his feelings along with the wonder, but at least he managed to lose  _something_.

When he had started work, he only knew about Sho from gossip, because they were in different departments. All the girls talked so much, though, in the pantry. And he spent a lot of time in the pantry. So he heard things. Like how fussy Matsumoto was – a horrible boss, from the sound of it. Like how Aiba-chan from PR is supposedly a sucker when it comes to sob stories, and it’s easy to get him to do one’s work on their behalf – especially if the person in question is a pretty girl with big eyes. Like how the Big Boss must really like Ohno because anyone else would have fired him within the first two months of employment; not that he doesn’t do his work, but he always takes his own time doing them and he’s said to have weird and bizarre habits that no one else would have tolerated. Nino never really bothered about the gossip. They were interesting to hear about, but were hardly worth believing in or investigating. But all the gossip about one Sakurai Sho were too intriguing – Sho was said to be so good at everything he did, and came from a good family, and had a good head on his shoulders on top of that, and he was kind and a good superior and... Nino always tuned out eventually, but it interested him that no one had a bad thing to say about Sho.

So when he met the man himself, he decided to find out. And Sho was everything he heard about. And more (this could be the part where he tuned out). It surprised him how easily they got along, because he considered himself as more of a loner. It surprised him that Sho was capable of being crazy and dorky, and it pleased him that Sho was only that way when with him. For the last two years, Sho had been his best friend.

Then he had to ruin it with a kiss.

No, he thought. It wasn’t his fault at all. It was Sho’s fault for being so damned  _perfect_. Nino was only human, after all. How could he resist falling in love? Of course, now he was in a back alley and feeling like caving into himself and his head was pounding and bleeding a little and he wanted to die, and it was all Sho’s fault.

He didn’t know when was it that he started falling for Sho, but he knew when he realised it. It was the jealousy, at first. So many of the girls at the office had their eyes on Sho, and it seemed like one moment he was finding it all very amusing, and the next he was thinking of getting a gun and picking them off, one by one. Then it was the hurt, when Sho sometimes would put a girl before him.

_Sorry, Nino – I have to bail, because Rina-chan said..._

_I can’t go next week, because that’s when Aki wanted to..._

_Haruhi got tickets to this thing. She said that she could bring a friend, if you’d like to...?_

No, Nino had said. What he had wanted to say was,  _don’t go._  What he wanted to say was,  _I want you to spend time with me, and me only._  When had he become like this? He didn’t know, didn’t care to know. He hated himself. Hated how needy he felt when it came to Sho, hated how crushed he felt when Sho lets him down, because Sho always lets him down.

Mr. Perfect.

Well, Mr. Perfect had pushed him away, and he had banged his stupid head on the stupid wall, and then Mr. Perfect had the  _gall_  to ask why.

})i({

_“Because I like you, of course.”_

_They stood and stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Nino felt like he was balanced on a sharp edge, waiting to fall, waiting for Sho’s answer (which he knew but tried not to think about)._

_  
And then Sho shook his head, as if in apology._

_“I’m sorry.” He looked ashen and shocked, and it made Nino angry, the way Sho was just so_ sorry _and so taken aback by the possibility that they could be more than friends._

_And then Sho had left. And then Nino fell._

})i({

The next day Nino didn’t seek Sho out for lunch as they usually did. He sat alone in the pantry, where he used to have his lunch before Sho. “Before Sho.” He mused about the phrase, and tried to think about it that way. Before and after - that’s the way one thought about big things, wasn’t it? Celebrations, and tragedy.

“Can I sit here?”

He thought that his heart stopped for a moment, and that he was hearing things, but then he realised that he was just holding his breath, and Sho really was there talking to him. He shrugged. “Nobody else has their name on that chair.”

Sho put down the mug of coffee in his hands first, before sitting next to Nino. He then picked up his drink, and sipped, not saying a thing.

Nino waited.

“Did I hurt you, last night?”

Nino shrugged, again. 

“I’ve thought about it, about what you said.” Sho paused, as if he thought Nino would jump into the conversation, but Nino didn’t. “I know I freaked out on you. I’m sorry. It’s just that... I never thought about us that way before. So it took me by surprise.”

Nino swallowed. Talk about adding insult to the injury, he thought. He wished that Sho would shut up and go away. Leave Nino some time to get over it. He was sure he’d get over it. Some day. It might take a long time, but - some day.

“We’ve known each other for two years, but I feel like I’ve known you a lot longer. I’ve heard a lot of stories about you, you know? From the girls on my floor. And I thought that you were really interesting, someone I’d like to get to know, someone I’d really enjoy knowing - and when I finally met you, I found out that I was right. You were my best friend.”

Nino closed his eyes. A part of him hoped, perhaps, that Sho would disappear if Nino couldn’t see him. He didn’t miss Sho’s usage of the past tense.

“No,” Sho said, stuttering a little. “You  _are_  my best friend. But that’s exactly  _why_  - that’s the reason I didn’t think of you like that, because we’re more than that, aren’t we?”

“How exactly is a platonic relationship  _more_  than a romantic one?”

“Romance comes and goes, Nino. And then you’re left with nothing but two people wondering what they ever saw in each other. You get jealous, and you get obsessed, and you get into fights.” 

“I’d like to think we’re stronger than that,” Nino said. He sighed. “So, what now? What do you want from me?”

Sho frowned. “I just want things to be like they used to be.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Nino said, gently. He stood up. He was mad at Sho, and he still felt an ache, a yearning for what  _could have been_ , but he knew that at least that part wasn’t Sho’s fault. Probably. “This is always going to be between us. And if you can’t handle that, maybe we shouldn’t be friends any more. Because I may get over this eventually, but it’s not going to happen if you’re still around.”

This time, Nino was the one who left Sho behind.

})i({

It took a week of not talking, and not seeing each other, before Sho finds Nino again.

They were outside in the cold. Nino was out running an errand, and Sho was on his way back from a meeting. They both stopped, looked, and considered. There was a lot to consider. Whether or not they should acknowledge each other. Whether or not they still felt the same things they said they did. 

Sho was the first to speak.

“I missed you,” was all he said.

Nino nodded. His movements were sharp, jerky, like he might break. He wasn’t strong, he thought. He didn’t think he was weak, either, but he knew that he wasn’t strong enough at that moment. “I missed you, too. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“What if I said yes?”

For some reason it seemed too amusing to Nino; he laughed. “Am I that great a friend to have, that you’d date me just to keep me around?”

“No.”

He didn’t expect that, didn’t expect the pain that came with that. He nodded, again. “Then -” he motioned as if to leave.

“You’re awful,” Sho said, causing him to stop. “You pretend that we’re just friends for years and years and you don’t even give any hints that you might feel differently. And then you drop it all on me in one go, and you don’t even give me time to think about it. And you - you whine a lot and you’re stingy and you’re  _mean_  and -” he paused to catch his breath. “And I wouldn’t have stuck around if I didn’t love you back.”

“Oh.” Nino thought about what Sho said. He wasn’t offended at all; he knew it was true. It was why he didn’t have many friends. Acquaintances, sure. Lots of them. But when it came to real friends, there was just Sho. (And Aiba-chan from PR, but he had a feeling that Aiba was “real friends” with a lot of people, and it didn’t have anything to do with him.) “But you  _said_ -”

“I know what I said. And I did believe that, that I would rather be friends if it meant I’ll always have you around. But I thought about what you said, and I thought about that night, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Too bad,” Nino said, lightly. His breath was already quickening, and he wanted to grab Sho right then and there, but he resisted. “You’re too late.”

“But -” Sho was obviously confused. “You said that you’d always...”

“Valentines’ day is over.” Nino thought of the chocolates he tried to give Sho. A stupid idea, really, but just once, he wanted to be seen as someone who was “sweet.” Someone who was the sort of person who would give chocolates on Valentines day. Someone who would make people smile, and not because he was being funny. But Sho had rejected his chocolates - hadn’t even  _looked_  at them. 

Sho was quiet for a long time. Nino could tell that he was trying to think of what to do, trying to find a way to salvage the situation.

It was stupid, because he wasn’t that sort of person, but he decided to give Sho a break.

“White day is in about two-and-a-half weeks, isn’t it?” He grinned. “Let’s see if you still feel the same way then. If you do, then I’ll give you a chance to remind me of what I’m missing.”

And then something happened. And then Sho smiled and for once, Nino was the kind of person who made someone smile, and not because he was being funny.


End file.
